“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her.” Eph.5:25 (Amplified)
According to King Solomon, the love between a man and a woman is mystical and in a sense defies human understanding. However, while we may not be able to dissect it, we do know how to cultivate or quench it. Marital love is like a tender plant, the more tender love and care (TLC) you give it, the more likely it would grow and produce fruit, but the opposite also applies when it is abused. Therefore, the best medium in which to grow perfect love is in the soil of mutual respect. Consequently, it takes two to dance the tango of love. Nevertheless, as with tango, one partner is required to take the lead as the other responds and follows.
According to the above passage, the man, who is God’s designated head of the home, is charged with that task. As in the world, responsibility is always accompanied by rights. Both Christian husbands and their non Christian counterparts eagerly take up their responsibilities as husbands and rightly expect to enjoy the rights and privileges of those responsibilities. On the humane end a typical husband can be very caring and loving while a dictatorial one can be driven by egotism and is thus selfish. The sad reality is that both kinds of husbands abound in the Church. As Christians, our perfect model of a husband is Jesus Christ and He chose to demonstrate His love for His bride the Church by dying for her despite her many imperfections. While we will most probably not be called upon to die for our spouses, we are nonetheless charged with the task of emulating Christ in our dealings with them. We are therefore called to die daily as a demonstration of our love for our spouses. The practical implication of this fact is that as one half of a covenant marital relationship, you are expected to put the needs of your spouse ahead of yours. However, this need not be a one way street. The loving act of preferring your spouse to yourself has to be reciprocal for, when one-sided, it will lead to abuse, resentment and ultimately failure of the relationship.
One of the attributes of love is that it does not insist on its own rights. Far too many marriages have floundered on the jagged rock of irreconcilable differences, which when deciphered simply translates to my way or no way. Another attribute of love is that it is ever ready to believe the best of everyone. It is never suspicious, accusative or aggressive. Love is trust, if not in the partner, then in God’s peerless ability to cause all things to work together for the good of those who love Him. So, whatever the shape of your marriage, choosing to love sacrificially can relight the dying embers of passion in your afflicted marriage. If both partners are willing to commit to putting the needs of each other first, that decision will do wonders for your relationship. So, why not begin today by asking, how can I bless my spouse? How can I make his/her day better? Then commit to doing this for a few weeks and watch out for a response from your spouse. He/she would first be astounded at the turns of events and with God’s help would also start responding positively to your love initiative. Commit to sacrificial love just as Jesus did, and the result will be a love filled marriage.
Prayer:
Lord, just as your word says, it is easy and natural to love those who love us and a different ball game for those who treat us despitefully, especially if such people are those who vowed to love and cherish us. I ask for the grace to love sacrificially so that your power can be brought to bear on my life to the glory of your name. Amen.