“So for the sake of Christ, I am well pleased and take pleasure in infirmities, insults, hardships, persecutions, perplexities and distresses; for when I am weak [in human strength], then am I [truly] strong (able, powerful in divine strength).” 2 Cor 12:10 (Amplified)
I could still recall the time as a teenager when I resolved to never allow myself to get to the point where I would become vulnerable to anyone. After all, if God has made me the head, why should I be content to be the tail? So, what was the reason behind that decision? Well, it was just the curse of an inflated ego – the basic human pride. You see, I was a proud and independent minded young person who was determined to hold his own. I especially take pride in my own ability to take care of myself. I had no need for anyone. Like most people, my attitude was mirrored in the first part of the words of Phil 4:13 – “I can do all things” full stop. The important latter part of that sentence “Through Christ who strengthens me” is usually relegated to the background or not voiced as vociferously as the first.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I have always been a good Christian who loves the Lord. I have even vowed to serve Him with every ounce of energy within me. The simple truth is that I just don’t like appearing as a weakling. I love to operate from a position of strength. I wanted to be in control of my own destiny. I was determined not to take any insult on my pride and would fight to defend my precious self-esteem.
Well, that was then. It has been over twenty years since I made that decision and my personal circumstances have changed. I am presently exactly where I vowed I would never be. However, over the years, through understanding and incorporating the fruit of patience into my life, as God’s Spirit works in me, I am increasingly realising that while I can still do all things, it is only through Christ who daily strengthens me. Most importantly, I am learning that being in a place of vulnerability is not necessarily a place of weakness as I had thought, but a place of strength – His strength. From that base I can call on God to impart His strength into me to positively impact my world. I have since learnt that by taking on God’s strength, I can be myself. I no longer have to strive to do anything in my fallible strength or even try to impress with my puny power. I just go with His flow and trust Him to undertake on my behalf. Eccl 7:8
This has been a long and difficult journey for me. Like Apostle Paul, I am learning to appreciate the pleasure of insults, hardship, persecutions, a few perplexities and distresses for the sake of Christ. My joy is in the fact that whatever I experience in my quest to obey and serve God can never remotely compare to the satisfaction I derive from knowing that I am in the centre of God’s will for my life. Through patience, God has gradually worked His character into my life, the way a tanner massages oil into hardened skin to make it pliable and useful. I know that as I watch my own strength diminish, sometimes with bitter complaints, God’s strength within me is being topped up, making me a better person able to serve His cause and thus giving more glory to Him. Well, that has always been and will always be my goal. So, what about you? Let patience have its way in you today for you can only be the better for it.
Prayer:
Lord, I desire only to do your will. Please remove every impediment of self that might want to impede you from having your way in me in Jesus Name. Amen.